History

In 2005 a group of educators, domestic violence experts, government officials, medical professionals, teen survivors and corporate leaders came together with Liz Claiborne Inc., the Education Development Center, Inc. (EDC), and Break the Cycle to create a national high school curriculum specifically designed to educate teens on the issue of dating violence. The program, Love Is Not Abuse is taught in English and Health Education/Language Arts classrooms. Unlike other curricula on the subject, our doorway into the issue is a unique one: Love Is Not Abuse uses brief, engaging texts (e.g., poetry, short stories, literature) as a springboard to build young people's awareness of how to make healthy choices in relationships and what to do if they are in abusive ones. Love Is Not Abuse draws on the motivating power of literature to help teenagers build effective strategies for dealing with relationship violence and abuse.

To date, over 11,000 schools and educational organizations across all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and abroad have requested and received a copy of the curriculum for use in their programs.

Goals

There are three main goals of the Love Is Not Abuse curriculum. Each goal will give you a better sense of how the curriculum addresses these issues.

Increase students' understanding of teenage dating violence/abuse:

• A definition of dating violence/abuse.
• The prevalence of the problem (statistical information).
• The fact that abuse occurs in demographic groups throughout the world, regardless of culture, race, religion, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic class. Teens who are disabled, undocumented, non-English-speaking, and/or gay or lesbian may experience higher rates of dating abuse than others.
• The many forms abuse takes, including emotional, physical, psychological, financial, sexual.
• The roles of the participants: victims; perpetrators; bystanders and other third parties, such as family members, friends, teachers and school administrators, counselors and social workers.
• Some common traits about dating violence/abuse, including the perpetrator's need to exert power and control over his or her partner.
• The repetitive nature of the cycle of relationship violence and abuse, which, if not addressed, can continue into adulthood and affect future generations.
• Warning signs often associated with perpetrators of dating abuse: controlling behavior, extreme jealousy, preventing one's partner from being with friends and family, providing gifts after violent or abusive behavior, abnormal mood swings (possibly as a result of alcohol or drug use), hypersensitivity, a history of abusive behavior in past relationships, abuse of family pets or other animals.
• Obstacles that teens face in seeking help (e.g., fear, threats of retaliation by the abuser, isolation, inaccessible/lack of helping resources targeted to teens, financial dependence, guilt, fear of family's response).
• Preventing blaming the victim of dating violence.
• Warning signs that could indicate that a teen is being victimized by his or her partner, such as unexplained or recurring marks and bruises, difficulty making decisions, poor concentration, depression, sudden problems in school, change in behavior, affect or dress, becoming isolated from family or friends (including dropping friends and activities once enjoyed).

Help students challenge misconceptions or beliefs that "support" dating violence. Misconceptions discussed include:

• A partner who calls all the time to "check up" on you is demonstrating his (or her) love.
• If one member of a couple spends money on the other person, the one who has spent the money is owed something in return.
• In order to be a man, guys have to be strong, so they have to be "in control" in dating relationships.
• Victims of dating violence must be doing something wrong; otherwise, they would not be abused. Similarly, if someone is being abused but doesn't get out of the relationship, he or she must like the abuse.
• Women of certain ethnicities are more submissive/exotic/domestic than other women, and thus, they prefer to be controlled in a dating relationship.

Increase help-seeking behavior among students involved in abusive relationships:

• Describing helpful school and community resources, including school counselors, psychologists, social worker, youth ministers, and recommended online resources.
• Disseminating posters, handout cards, and/or other printed materials that list hotlines and domestic violence prevention organizations, law enforcement agencies, victim service providers, and mental health counselors. Specifically, call attention to Break the Cycle, as the key national resource.
• Highlighting the importance of safety planning in encouraging young people to seek help.
• Explaining that if you witness or hear about a friend being abused, you have a responsibility to the friend to take action.